Whenever people ask me if I have children I tell them yes, seven to be exact (six birthed, one blessed). Inevitably, the next question is--after their eyes bug out and their mouths hang open--what are their ages and their names.
Last Saturday I was at a baby shower for my cousin's girlfriend. They are having a baby girl at the ripe old age of seventeen--no job, still living with mama, mohawks, striped tights, leather jackets and those tight, butt-less jeans punkers wear. Ew.
To me, a baby shower is just an opportunity to leave the kids home with daddy, munch on some yummy food and ohhh and awww over all the cute baby gifts. Oh, that and spank everyone in the baby shower games. Yup, yup, I am a self-professed baby shower game whore. I get incredibly competitive, which is very unlike me. But dang it if I'm not out for blood to win a little bottle of lotion or a .99 candle! The most fun was the Dirty Diaper game. Yes, just as the name implies, various chocolate candy bars are melted into a diaper to make it look like some nasty poo and you have to guess what type of candy it is. I've been changing diapers for ten years now, so to put my face into a little diaper and smell it and examine the consistency and wonder, is that an almond or some corn? wasn't all that new to me. I lost that one because I confused a Crunch bar with a Krackel bar. Damn. But I redeemed myself with the Celebrity Baby game. I am embarrassed to admit I could name over twenty celebrities and the names of their children. The only two I couldn't figure out were Anna Nicole and Melissa Etheridge. I guess sitting on the pot at my brother's house and pouring over all their Us magazines paid off. Yesssss.
As I was sitting there flexing my baby shower game skills, a cousin's wife began asking me about my kids. She saw my three little ones I had with me at the time, stuck to my butt the entire time like they were shy or something (very unlike them), complimented on their cuteness, and wondered where the rest of them were. Then, how old are they? What are their names?
And then she asked it.
Oh, do all your children have "bible" names?
Ugh.
I can't stand that question. Why, you ask? First off, it just sounds...ignorant. I'm not a grammatical scholar by any means, but shouldn't it be biblical names? 'Cuz to me, "bible" names are New King James, New International Version, The Message, The Amplified Bible, etc etc. You get my point. You would be surprised how many people ask me that question.
And for the record, I have two children with biblical names. Noah and Solomon. That's it. Diego, Cyan, Maya, and Xiomara...I don't remember reading those chapters in my Bible. All of their names mean something special to me and they are as unique as they are.
So as you can see, they are not all bible names! But people still continue to ask me that question every time they hear me rattle off the names of my lovies.
*shakes head*
