Monday, May 07, 2007
You better work, B#&@*!
Right off the bat let me just say, I am not a huge TV fan. I can name the shows I watch on a regular basis on one hand. Granted, my viewing pleasure has gone down considerably since we got rid of DirectTV and my beloved TiVo (may he rest in peace). I mean, come on, how much fun is it to watch primitive TV? Commercials, public television, snow on channel six. Yes, you heard right, snow.
What I do watch, I try to catch online so I don't have to mess with sitting there at 8 pm trying to concentrate over naked kids running around (fresh from the bathtub and still looking for underwear) or dirty, smelly kids (with brown, dirt-encrusted feet and toenails) trying to relax next to me on the sofa until it's their turn to take a bath. No, I don't think so.
But there is one show that I try not to miss. Ever. Every Wednesday night, without fail and with a religious fervor, I watch America's Next Top Model. Sure, some of you holier than thou fools will say, what about wednesday night bible study? Harvest is like, three minutes away from your house! True dat. Buuuuuuut, that is why I attend small group on thursday nights! And the chil'rens go to mid-week study with Grandma-mama to give me a break and I won't have any naked-child distractions. Holla!
I've been watching ANTM since cylce one. What can I say, I love me some Tyra! I've been hooked ever since. My favorite aspect about the show is the creative side. I love to see behind the scenes where the girls are getting their hair and make-up done with the stylists. I also enjoy the photographers and the final shots at the end of the show. And the runway shows are always fierce. ANTM takes me back to my fag-hag days. Oh, I ain't gonna lie, I also love the drama. The drama of twelve chicks who all think they are the shiznit, who steal each other's granola bars, who fight over the phone, who cry at the drop of a dime, who are so damn skinny I don't think I have ever seen anyone in real life their size--except for eleven year old girls. And the plus size models....wow, size 12/14 is plus size, eh? Then I could have been a plus size model at like, twelve years old or something! Heh. But these "plus size" gals have it rough--compared to all these skeletons, they look like heifers.
As I have done every season, I always pick a favorite. This year it's my girl Jaslene. Homegirl is 100% ghetto AND she's a Latina, so you know she gets my vote. There is usually one token Latina on every cycle of ANTM, but none have made it to the top four. So I am excited! I still cringe everytime she opens her mouth and speaks, though. Oh so cha-cha.
Go Jaslene. You better work, work it girl, do your thing on the runway...sashay shante!