This was originally posted on BabyCenter, July 4th, 2011, but I still maintain the exact same sentiment. Fireworks suck.
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One thing you will never catch me doing on the 4th of July is this: lighting firecrackers.
Uh-uh nope, not me.
Not even a harmless little sparkler.
I think this may have to do with my fear of being electrocuted/explosions/fire/sudden death, etc. Call me crazy, but all of those things scare me silly, so it makes sense that the whole issue of fireworks would be null and void as well. I don’t even like those little poppers that have confetti in them.
Good thing too, because fireworks are illegal where I live. You see, I live in a valley where the blazing sun scorches everything to the point where it’s practically considered kindling. That doesn’t stop people from buying them in other counties and lighting them around the neighborhood like complete jackasses.
I know what you’re thinking, no fireworks on the fourth of July? What kind of unpatriotic mess is this?
Growing up, we usually spent the fourth with my Dad, who lived in a county where fireworks were perfectly legal. We’d head out to the numerous firework stands that sprouted every summer and he would load up on fireworks like a little kid on Christmas morning. Then, as the sun went down, the neighborhood would come alive as people would sit out on the curb to watch the excitement.
Except for me.
I watched from the safety of my Nana’s porch, with a grassy lawn and a wrought iron fence dividing me and the fireworks. Sometimes, I would crouch behind a parked car.
What makes normally rational people set off small explosives right in front of their house–for fun?
I don’t remember the names of each firework, but I vividly recall one that buzzed around all over the floor like a fireball. I just discovered its called a ground bloom flower. The other one that terrified me used to light up like a snake. Call me a paranoid weirdo, but I just kept envisioning people getting their faces burned off.
Now that I’m grown, I don’t mess with the things. My kids don’t mess with them either. All they know is we drive over to the place where the fireworks show takes place, we lay down a blanket, oooh and aahh over the display and we go home. They have no idea people can actually buy them, set them off and proceed to singe their eyebrows to nothingness. That is their reality.
Cozy and safe, with intact eyebrows.
How do you celebrate the 4th of July? Does your tradition include lighting fireworks?
Image source: howstuffworks.com
